


Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

by FrecklefaceB



Series: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time [1]
Category: Suicide Squad (2016), Suicide Squad (Comics)
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Explicit Language, F/M, Humor, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 01:52:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6309640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrecklefaceB/pseuds/FrecklefaceB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader wakes up from a wild evening to discover Captain Boomerang in her bed. She has no recollection of the night and is struggling to piece it all together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to be while listening to Panic! At The Disco’s - Don’t Threaten Me with A Good Time
> 
> Captain Boomerang isn't mine but this story is. This version of Boomerang is based off of Jai Courtney's Captain Boomerang in the upcoming Suicide Squad movie, so please keep that delicious visual in mind.
> 
> You can follow me on tumblr under the username of FrecklefaceB. I post updates and general Jai Courtney related randomness. I'd love to hear from you.

You had a shit day. Nothing had gone well, you woke up late, missed your train, were late to work, spilled coffee down yourself, made a major error on a report, and you were suspended as a result.

To make matters worse, none of your friends were willing to meet you at the bar for some morale. Deciding that you didn’t need them, you parked yourself at the first dive bar you found.

It was fairly empty, smelling of cigarettes and stale chips. You opened a tab and begun your personal pity party. Remaining oblivious to your surroundings, you hadn’t noticed the large man settled only a couple of stools away. It wasn’t until you came back from the restroom that you saw him watching. Shaking your head, you flagged the bartender and asked for refills. Your drink of choice that evening was downing whisky.

Feeling brave from the whiskey you mouth off, “Take a picture creep, it will last longer.” The man scoffs maintaining his gaze as you work on downing the series of whisky shots lined up before you, figuring if you ignored the brute he’d go away.

You weren’t counting on the whisky making you talkative. You started buying shots and talking to the other five customers, creeper included. By the end of the night you were next to the creep, you had learned his name was George or Captain, with your hand over his shoulders as you lean over looking at him, “We….we should have an adventure! You look like a fun guy!”

He laughed before asking, “What’d ya have in mind sweetheart?”

______________________

Barely opening your eyes before the harsh sunlight forces them shut, you snuggle underneath the covers but know the throbbing headache will prevent you from sleep. Loud snores erupt in the room and you slowly peel back the covers. Your eyes widened at the large man sprawled out on his back. With one arm draped over his eyes, and the other hanging off the bed. Your gaze travels down his fury torso, stopping at the blanket sitting low on his hips. You don’t have to peak to know he’s naked; the throbbing between your legs already gave away your evening activity. ‘I bet he’s huge everywhere.’ Curiosity gets the best of you, and you gently lift up the blanket. 'Not bad sir, no wonder I’m going to have ice my vag.’ You nod with approval as you let the blanket fall. He stirs and you roll away to your stomach as he rolls onto his side facing you and his hand finds your butt.

_His beard scratches your neck as he squeezes your butt while guiding you on top. You arch your back before sliding your hips under. His primordial grunts encouraging each movement._

Shaking the thought you stare at his bearded face and gold necklace hanging from his neck, 'Wait. Is this the creep from the bar? Someone should have cut me off.’ You quietly think as you continue to stare, eventually the realization that he is actually quite attractive crosses your mind. The mutton chops, the curly mohawk, and the large beefy body all worked well together. Smothering your face with the pillow to suppress the new inappropriate thoughts from your head, you decide to get up for a shower. He never flinches as you slide from under his hand and out of the bed to the bathroom.

Downing a few ibuprofen and a few gulps of water directly from faucet you feel slightly better but cringe at your reflection of smeared eyeliner and hair sticking up everywhere. You turn on the shower and quickly jump in. The warm shower felt good rolling down your back. Leaning back allowing the water to tame your hair before lathering it with shampoo, the sound of urinating pulls your attention and you peak out from behind the shower curtain. The large man has a hand propping himself against the wall over the toilet while he takes care of business. The shower curtain must have caught his attention because his blue eyes meet your inquisitive gaze. He cocks a brow and purses his lips, as if he approves and turns to shake. The fresh tattoo inked on his forearm catches your attention. You suddenly panic bolting out of the shower to the mirror. As you turn your body, you see it, a boomerang tattooed on your left butt cheek.

“Son of a bitch!” You shriek while looking in disbelief.

The man quietly chuckles.

“At least one of us is amused …whatever your name is.”

“Ya didn’t have any problems with my name last night love.” You are taken aback by his deep voice and Australian accent. A smug smirk appears on his face from your reaction.

“Very helpful. Can you put some on pants or something?”

He shrugs, “You’re naked.” You look down having forgotten and quickly grab a towel in spite, wrapping it around yourself.

“Not anymore.”

“This is rich. Ya don’t remember much do ya?” You shoot the man a dirty look before begrudgingly shaking your head no.

“Ya ripped my pants. Cut ‘em off with my boomerang.”

“I’ve never even fucking seen a boomerang until about five minutes ago on my ass.” You say walking into the bedroom and stumbling upon a pile of clothes on the floor. Huffing as you grab the pair of pants to throw at him but the large gash catches your attention.

_Smirking as you hold the slick boomerang while straddling his lap, his grip tightens as you lick the weapon. “Y/N, I’m so turned on right now.” You reach down between you to grabbing his erection and he hisses. Raising your brows, you take the blade and slice open his pants from the top down his thigh._

Dropping the pants in shock your eyes meet. He only offers a satisfied grin in return. You rush to the dresser pulling out clothes and wriggling them on attempting to keep the towel in place.

“What we gonna do?”

“I don’t know!” You shout over your shoulder.

“Ya get me some pants and I’d gladly be on my way.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you alone here"

Clicking his tongue before speaking, “Looks like we’re in a stalemate.”

You sink into a chair at the kitchen table, cradling your head in your hands attempting to find a solution. There’s no way you could call a friend, if they’d bother to have shown up you wouldn’t be in this situation. He’s pant less and there’s no underwear in sight which means heading out is not an option. Racking your brain before an idea has you jump up in excitement.

Holding your hands out to the man, “Stay right there! I’m serious. Don’t move.” You fling the door open and knock on your neighbor’s door while glancing back at the stranger.

The door opens, “Hello, Y/N! Is everything okay?”

“Yes, Mrs. Kimball. I was wondering if you still had those clothes you were going to donate?” Pointing your thumb over your shoulder, “My friend seems to have ripped his pants.” Mrs. Kimball’s eyes get huge when she realizes there is half naked man in the middle of your living room. 

She smiles at you, “Sure sweetheart.” Relieved, you quickly step in but flinch when she shuts the door. “Deary, are you sure everything is okay? He’s not the type of people you normally hang out with.”

Clearing your throat, “I promise it’s all okay. He’s a… uh, newer friend.”

_You bite your lip as he takes your nipple in his warm wet mouth. “Oh, god, Captain.” You moan in pleasure. He roughly pushes you back as he crawls over you nudging your legs apart with his knee. “Ya’ said we were going to be friends love. We’re about to be the best of friends.” He seductively rumbles before thrusting into you._

Mrs. Kimball’s snapping pulls you from the daydream. “Sorry,” You murmur while sorting through the bag for pair of men’s trousers. You pull out a pair of grey sweatpants that look like they’d fit. “Thank you, Mrs. Kimball!” You call as you open the door and step into the hall way. To your surprise, the Captain is still in place but he’s smoking a cigarette.

“No. Put that out!” You quip shutting and locking your door.

“Ya left me nothing else to do.” He flicks the cigarette into a glass of water.

You shake your head before launching the pants at him. “Those should work.” He steps into the sweats and pulls them up each leg. The pants leave little to the imagination; in fact, his bulge is almost highlighted by the material.

“My eyes are up here sweetheart.”

You turn before he can see your flush cheeks, “Well I’m certain I’ve seen it Captain.” 

“I’m touched. Ya remembered my name. I knew I meant somethin’ to ya.” He dryly says as he slips into his boots. You lean against the counter watching him adjusting the straps and tying the strings. “That’ll do. What ya gonna do now?”

“Scrub every surface of this place.” He abruptly laughs.

“What?” You ask.

Shrugging, “Ya should.” You scowl at him in disgust before opening the door, appreciative that he’s almost out of your hair.

He smirks as he approaches. Turning his head to look at you, a shiver shoots down your spine resulting in goosebumps. He notices quirking his brow.

_His tongue traces up your spine to your neck and then over your shoulder causing a shiver. He bites down on your shoulder and licks the wound. You shoot him a lust filled glare. He gently cups your butt before slapping it causing you to lurch forwards onto all fours. “Ready for round two?” You moan as he teasingly enters and quickly withdraws._

The Captain takes a step forward and you step back bumping into the wall. He leans and you can feel his hot breath. Looking up at large man, his eyes flick from yours to your lips and back. He presses himself against you. “Ya sure ya want me to leave?” You honestly weren’t sure you knew your name at that moment. Sensing your hesitancy, he ghosts his lips over yours. “Just say it sweetheart.”

Your tongue traces his lip before slipping into his mouth for a wet dominating kiss. You kick the door shut. Pulling his bottom lip as you break for breath talking against his lips, “We’re not done, bestie.”


End file.
